Now that we have harpooned the romantic vision of the crazy mad scientist entrepreneur who can use creative genius to turn a bad idea into a profitable business, we need to face another hard truth; small business ownership can and does create real health issues for many people. Most entrepreneurs pay a toll before they find even moderate success, and sometimes that price can be high. Years of uncertainty and financial insecurity coupled with the ups and downs of normal business cycles can leave deep psychological scars that never truly heal. Researchers have shown that this can lead to a form of post-traumatic stress disorder where fear of failure haunts even the most successful people for the rest of their lives.[i] This is a real problem that many, perhaps most, small business owner face sooner or later.
Dr. Taura Barr is a nurse researcher who earned her doctorate studying the effects of neurotrauma on the body. She has worked for the National Institute of Health, West Virginia University, and Ohio State University. While on a tenure track at WVU, she developed a technology that identifies stroke using patterns in the immune system. In 2012, a friend convinced her to start a company and develop commercial applications for her research. The following year, twelve weeks pregnant with her fourth child, she developed a pulmonary embolism. She spent six months simply trying to survive while struggling to keep her new company afloat. In her words, “It was a completely life altering experience.” After her son was born and she recovered, she decided to become a certified nurse coach and help small business owners like herself learn how to cope with the stress and crises they live with every day.
“Early in my career it was about me. It was about how I can make my impact in the world. Then I had this life altering event, but it helped to reframe things. I was really given a gift because I almost died. I had to deal with the fear of that. I had anxiety. I was depressed. I had to face all these things and yet I still had this business that I had to manage. It was incredibly challenging, and there were no resources. In fact, I remember very early on that I wasn’t supposed to talk about it. If we were having a team meeting and I was really struggling that day, it wasn’t safe to talk about the things I was facing in my personal life. I was the leader. The reality is that entrepreneurship can be incredibly lonely.”
British entrepreneur and author Jan Cavelle had a similar experience. She believes that the harmful psychological impact of being an entrepreneur is one of the most ignored topics in any discussion about small business ownership. Entrepreneurs are expected to be strong and decisive leaders, but many outsiders and employees forget that they are human beings as well. They have problems in their personal lives just like everyone else. But being the boss requires them to set aside everything that matters to them on a human and personal level. Many times, this results in failed relationships and a feeling of complete isolation. In a lengthy post on LinkedIn, Cavelle writes:
“I remember in the days of a growing business, going to a company day out to which everyone was allowed to bring their wives and children. I turned up and saw nearly 100 people of all shapes and sizes milling around this barbeque. I sat on the ground, hiding to one side, and felt as if every responsibility in the world was on me. All around there were these men, women, and children who relied on me to do everything right so that their mortgages were paid and food on their tables. It felt terrifying and crippling. I went home, ran a bath, and sat in it for hours with tears pouring down my cheeks, feeling terribly, horribly, alone.”[ii]
Most small businesses do not have dozens of employees like Cavelle’s, but the terror of complete failure is the same, if not worse, for sole proprietors whose only responsibility is to their families. Knowing the impact that a bad day, week, month, or year will have on their loved ones creates unimaginable guilt and anxiety. The embarrassment, frustration, and anger that comes when things go wrong at work are amplified when the results of those failures are reflected on the faces of your spouse, children, and loved ones. Work and life are one in the same when you’re self-employed, so there is never any place to find refuge or to psychologically recharge. These stresses feed on, and amplify, any psychological conditions that might have been present before the business started. This can lead to complete mental breakdowns.[iii] Cavelle experienced this too:
“For many years, I was okay. I had a couple wobbles that were diagnosed as depression and looking back I think they were more closely aligned to burnout. Bringing up two children as a single parent and growing a business at the same time can have that effect. To all outside eyes, I appeared successful. But in the end, I hit a brick wall. …I spent around five years, propped up on pills and booze. It’s no way to live and it’s no way to run a business. The business deteriorated and so did I. Both came to a grinding halt in the end.”[iv]
Some might argue that assuming the heavy psychological and financial burdens of small business ownership is what being an entrepreneur is all about. It comes with the territory. But as I mentioned earlier, too often, the people who mentor and educate aspiring small business owners focus on the glory of success and ignore the pain of failure that is almost always present in some form. It’s like describing the joy of motherhood without saying anything about childbirth. This is a particularly bad problem in the education community. College professors and high school business teachers who sugarcoat reality are nothing more than cheerleaders on the sidelines of a game they neither understand nor fully appreciate. It’s true that tough times and hard work shape a person’s character, sometimes for the better. But too often the shape that emerges from these trials isn’t a perfect square or circle. It’s an ugly, depressing, black smudge accented with a tinge of imposter syndrome. Over time, the smudge can be transformed into a beautifully shaped viable business. But the hole that years of stress and heartache rips in a person’s psyche can remain open for a very, very long time.
[i] https://www.forbes.com/sites/kateashford/2016/04/22/financial-stress/?sh=66e2d2442753
[ii] https://medium.com/invisible-illness/the-extreme-vulnerability-of-entrepreneurs-3b7e51ae4c00
[iii] https://medium.com/invisible-illness/why-rates-of-suicide-and-depression-are-so-high-for-entrepreneurs-a53734ff1deb. Also see https://medium.com/invisible-illness/the-extreme-vulnerability-of-entrepreneurs-3b7e51ae4c00.
[iv] Ibid.
